Scared Sonic
by BearfootTruck
Summary: After starring in one too many bad games, Sonic and his friends are sent to one of the world's toughest prisons to take part in a "Scared Straight" program. Rated M for extreme language and references to very bad stuff. Part One of the "Hedgehogs in Prison" mini-series.
1. Prelude & Processing

**A/N: I gotta be honest, I'd been on the fence about whether or not I should publish this story. However, I figured it was better to be damned if I did than if I didn't, plus I'd spent so much time on this one, so yeah. Anyways, if the summary didn't dissuade you, then I will: if extreme language and references to disturbing stuff are not your bag, then please close this fanfic right now and read something fluffier. Otherwise, read on for a _Sonic_ outing like no other! P.S., Don't get me wrong; I enjoyed _Sonic Forces_ , but certain other games...not so much.  
**

 **Also, this story was reprinted with permission from _Other Dimensions_ magazine.**

* * *

From sea to shining sea, the sun shone down on the Federal Republic of Columbia. With nary a cloud in the sky and the temperature at an average of 72 degrees Fahrenheit, it was the perfect day for families to go to the park, play sports, ride bikes or whatever it is the typical family would do on a day like this. Actually, given the changing ethnographic makeup of the FRC, it's quite hard to tell what counts as a "typical" family.

Getting back to the matter at hand, Sonic the Hedgehog and his friends would not be enjoying any of these activities today. The blue hedgehog and 16 other young people were going to prison. However, before anyone jumps to any conclusions or judgments, the reason they were going to prison was to attend a session of the Juvenile Outreach Instruction and Notification Team. The JOINT Program – better known in the popular parlance as "Scared Straight" – is billed as "an initiative from the inside aimed at keeping kids on the outside".

The JOINT Program was held at the Joseph K. Driscoll Correctional Facility. Located in the northeastern FRC about 30 minutes north of Hancock City, the Joseph K. Driscoll Correctional Facility has the reputation of being one of the toughest prisons in the country. Behind the barbed-wire fencing, the pristine red brick walls and the Victorian-style architecture, there lies a world of chipped paint, cold stone floors and unimaginable horrors committed by its inmates. It is within these walls that some of the prison's toughest inmates run the program. These inmates came in all shapes, colors, species and whatever: White, black, hedgehog, fox, Latino, bear, etc… They were done with ruining peoples' lives, and having been saddled with a collective sentence of over 1,000 years (not including life sentences), they are now trying to save lives by teaching kids about life in prison.

* * *

Prior to their visit, I interviewed Sonic and some of his friends about their thoughts on the whole thing:

"So Sonic," I asked, "how do you really feel about your fans?"

"That's easy," replied Sonic. "They're all way past cool! It's great havin' them around!"

"Yeah!" said Miles Prower, an orange fox known as "Tails" because of his two tails, "When I'm with Sonic, I get to know a lot of nice people!"

"Interesting," I said. "So why would you return the favor by giving them games they don't like?"

"Hey, I don't care!" replied Sonic. "I'm havin' a fun time, ya know, and at least somebody thinks I'm boss, right?"

"Yeah, I have fun with Sonic no matter what!" said Tails. "Maybe I do feel a little sad, though."

The other youngsters in Sonic's group expressed similar opinions, some of them coldly:

"I could care less about those peons," said Shadow, a black-and-red hedgehog who bore an odd resemblance to Sonic. "Whatever I do, I do it for me and I do it for _her_. So far, I have been successful, and I see no reason to change my ways."

"Honestly, I don't know these people," said Knuckles, a red echidna with a crescent mark on his chest, "so I really don't feel too bad for them."

"But I was just doing what I felt was right!" said Silver, a silver (naturally) hedgehog with white chest fur and a distinct plumage on his forehead. "I was just trying to protect the future!"

"I like Froggy," said Big, a large, purple cat with dark purple stripes and large ears.

Many of the prisoners that Sonic and co. were about to meet had begun their criminal careers at a young age. Coincidentally, Sonic and co. had also embarked on their adventures when they were young:

"I don't remember how old I was when I was assigned to protect the Master Emerald," said Knuckles.

"Me? Oh, around 2 years old," said Tails.

Sonic shrugged. "I guess 5, 6…maybe 7."

"I estimate that I was 4 years old," said Espio, a purple chameleon with a yellow horn.

"I dunno. 12?" said Vector the Crocodile, one of the largest in the group. To me, he seemed quite old compared to the others.

"I was 8," said Amy Rose, a pink hedgehog wearing a red dress plus matching shoes and headband.

"12," said Silver.

* * *

Every Monday through Friday, juveniles from the tri-state area pay a visit to the Joseph K. Driscoll Correctional facility to take part in the JOINT Program. These juveniles take part in the program for many different reasons. The reason that the Sonic crew was enrolled because a number of their more recent video games were of questionable quality. Whatever the reason, though, juveniles have to cross through a metal detector when they come here. It's fairly common for the machine to detect seemingly innocuous items such as keys or jewelry, but they do get a few positives. Very rarely, however, will anyone even think about defying the guards, let alone actually defy them.

On this particular visit, Shadow tripped the metal detector.

"Empty your pockets, kid!" ordered the guard standing by the metal detector. A white man at least six feet tall, with his hair high and tight, he very much looked the part. He, like all the guards here, wore a dark gray military-style uniform.

"As you wish, _sir_." I could feel the contempt in Shadow's voice as he did what he was told. He removed a few guns: A Walther P38, a Smith & Wesson Model 29, an MP5, an M16 and an M79, plus ammunition. The guard was very quick to snatch them away.

"All right, get your ass back in the line!" snapped the guard. "You're lucky we don't throw you in prison right now!"

"You can't put me in here," said Shadow, holding a clenched fist over his heart. "I am the Ultimate Life Form!"

"Hey, I said shut up and get back in the goddamn line!" Shadow did as he was told and walked back through the metal detector, and this time, it didn't trigger.

Ordinarily, when it comes to the individuals involved in these articles, I try to remain as neutral and detached as much as possible. However, at that moment, I couldn't help but feel sorry for Shadow. The way he talked, the way he interacted with others, I just felt that there was something really wrong with him and that maybe the JOINT Program would help him.

But all that aside, upon passing through the metal detector, Sonic and friends passed through a small room that served as a staging area. Moving in a single-file line, they proceeded to the cell block area.

"OK, keep going," said another guard, a gray fox. "Follow the sergeant."

As the group went further and further into the cell block area, any smiles that anyone might have been wearing faded away. Judging by the way everyone's eyes darted around, they seemed to be more fearful, except perhaps Shadow and Espio. It was as if the atmosphere was pervaded by a certain sense of hopelessness.

"Hey man, check out this sweet little thang right here!" said one of the prisoners.

"Ooh mama, I want me some of that ass!" said another, who whistled.

"Come on in here!" said another prisoner. "I'm gonna make you my bitch! Mmm-mmm, yeah!" The prisoners kept going with those kinds of comments, as if they were deliberately trying to intensify the aforementioned sense of hopelessness.

Logically, Sonic and his friends should've had nothing to fear. After all, there were steel bars between them and the prisoners, plus some well-armed and well-trained guards watching over them. However, in an environment like this, it was difficult to think about that old adage of "sticks and stones". I even had some trouble with that myself. Nevertheless, I took a deep breath and vowed to carry out my duties as a journalist.

In the meantime, the sergeant, a black guy well over six feet tall, was giving the kids a little tour of the prison, showing them some of the cell blocks, the cafeteria, the various shops, the yard and the door leading to Death Row (although we never went in there).

In Cell Block D, the sergeant escorted the group to an empty cell.

"All right, you first four dudes go in there," ordered the sergeant. Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Shadow walked in. Another guard pressed a button on a control panel and the door closed behind them. The interior of the cell wasn't exactly cramped, but it was small and uncomfortable for four people. There was a bunk bed, a stainless steel sink and stainless steel toilet. The walls, made of unpainted concrete, had graffiti scratched onto them, with phrases like "1-8-7, RIDE OR DIE" and "ANTHROS SUCK ASS, 14/88". There were also the usual tally marks left by prisoners past.

Inside the cell, Shadow sat down on the bed.

"Hey, get off of that man's bed!" ordered the sergeant. Shadow did so.

"Listen, I don't care how tough y'all think you are," said the sergeant, "but when ya get in here, you ain't goin' nowhere for a long time!"

* * *

Earlier, I had also interviewed Sonic and the others about their attitudes towards life and crime:

"It doesn't matter," replied Silver. "I must protect the future! If anyone tries to harm me, I'll keep going!"

"Hey man, I live life by my own rules!" said Sonic, his smile never faltering. "When I wanna do something, I do it right away and do it when I can! It's the only way to live life without regrets! Sure, I try to be a good guy, but if the fuzz comes after me…well, that's just one of the hazards of my job, ya dig?"

"Yeah, Sonic's the man!" said Tails.

"I try to keep my spirit focused," said Espio. "Discipline is the key to success. Knowledge is also a powerful tool. A true ninja can never be wrong if he has the knowledge that he is doing what's right."

"If you say 'If I commit a crime, how do I feel?'" began Sonic, "Well…that depends. If I know I ain't doin' anything wrong, I'm not gonna feel too bummed out. In fact, I might do it again!"

"I may steal something if given the correct opportunity," said Espio.

"What do you mean by 'the correct opportunity'?" I asked.

"A true ninja must never steal something unless it is for a good reason."

"Such as?"

"For example, I find it perfectly acceptable to steal from somebody like Dr. Robotnik."

"I've killed a few people," said Silver, "but sometimes, I ask myself: To kill someone to save the world…is that really the right thing to do?"

"Is it?" I asked.

Silver rubbed the back of his head. "Well…I…it just depends…"

"Hey, they gotta catch me!" Sonic wagged his index finger at me. "Nobody's gonna catch me, though, 'cause I'm The Fastest Thing Alive, baby!"

* * *

Back in the prison cell, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Shadow were still checking it out.

"Hey, why don't ya smell the toilet bowl, kids?" said the sergeant.

"Hey, I can already smell it from here!" Sonic was holding his nose.

"You can? Well, just look at it, shorty! It don't matter how long you comin' here for, 'cause we gonna put you in a cell like this, and let me tell ya, we got a good mind to keep y'all in here for the rest of the tour, aight? You guys ain't so tough!"

* * *

I had a few more questions for Sonic and his friends:

"Hey, we ain't thieves," began Vector, "but if we had to steal, we'd definitely steal from some egghead like Dr. Robotnik! Heck, he's got all them robots and stuff zippin' around; I'm sure that cue ball can replace 'em!"

"Ya know, the worst thing I ever did was gettin' tricked by Dr. Robotnik into thinkin' that Sonic wanted to steal the Master Emerald," said Knuckles.

"And why did you let that happen?" I asked.

"Hey, he told it to me, so I thought it must have been true!"

"If Sonic's gonna do something, then I would most likely do it too," said Tails. "I mean, Sonic's a good guy and he does awesome things!"

"I wouldn't really rob anybody…" said Silver.

"Would you do it if you could?" I asked.

Silver put his hand up to his chin. "Well…I might rob Mephiles, but definitely not someone like Blaze or a little old lady."

* * *

"All right, you three girls go on in!" Amy went into the cell along with Blaze the Cat and Rouge the Bat.

* * *

I had also interviewed these young ladies prior to their visit as well:

"Sometimes, I have lost control of myself," said Blaze, a light purple cat wearing a purple robe and rose-colored high-heel shoes. "It is one of the difficulties I have had while living with my curse…my flames. Because of my powers, I have always been alone!"

"Stealing, stealing, oh…and more stealing!" said Rouge, a voluptuous bat wearing a black bodysuit, pink heart-shaped breastplate plus matching white gloves and boots.

"Well, I have committed assault and battery before," said Amy.

"What I steal, I need," said Rouge, "and I need gems! The color, the shine…oh, it's so breathtaking! You should try stealing some for yourself!"

Although I cannot condone such behavior, I should like to note that I found this idea strangely charming at the time. Whatever it is, that girl put a spell on me.

Now anyways, if these ladies and gentlemen look like cute little video game mascots, remember why they're here: Game-breaking glitches, over-reliance on certain gimmicks, awkward controls, eccentric camera systems, artificial difficulty, convoluted plots and other things. The issues with their games are hardly child's play.

* * *

 **Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.  
**


	2. Intro & Prisoner 01124

Sonic & his friends walked up one final set of stairs and into a special visitors' center, where the lifers were waiting for them.

* * *

Before we begin, let's see how they felt about meeting the lifers:

"They don't really scare me, I guess…" replied Silver.

"I think it's going to be absolutely fabulous to meet a bunch of thieves!" said Rouge.

"I ain't worried, ya know…" said Sonic, "'cause if anyone talks jive to me, I'm gonna jive 'em right back, see?"

"Why should I be scared?" said Tails. "I mean, with Sonic by my side, I know there's not much to be scared of!"

* * *

The visitors' center they were in was painted a pale green color, with the usual unpainted floor. Entering the room, there were a few tables to the right, with some folding chairs set up before them. The chairs were set so they were facing towards the left of the room. Here on the left was a group of bleachers where the lifers sat. Above the bleachers, a slogan was painted on the wall: "IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO MEND". The room was flanked by a couple of backstage areas as well. Sonic and the group took their places.

* * *

 _PRISONER #62391_

AGE: 33

SENTENCE: 25 YEARS

CHARGE: ASSAULT AND BATTERY

DATE OF BOOKING: 2/25/X9

After everyone was seated, prisoner #62391 was the first to speak. A black man with a shaved head, he wore a tan jumpsuit and black shoes, the standard prison uniform.

"You here for two hours, that means you belong to us for two hours!" said #62391. He then held up some cards. "Everybody see these cards?"

No one responded.

"Everybody see these muthafuckin' cards!? Listen here: When a man's up here speakin' and asks a question, he want an answer from all y'all! Now do everybody see these cards?"

"Yes," said the kids.

#62391 walked over and handed the cards to Sonic. "Take one and pass it down, kid. I want ya to see 'em all!"

Sonic looked at the cards. Each one had a mugshot of an inmate, their name, date of birth, charge and sentence. When he was done with a card, he put it at the bottom of the pile and looked at the next card. However, just when he was about to see the next card, #62391 walked over to Sonic and smacked the cards out of his hands.

"Muthafucka, what did I say!?" exclaimed #62391. "WHAT DID I SAY TO YOU, MUTHAFUCKA!? Now pick 'em up and look at 'em right!"

Gasping, Sonic wasted no time in picking up the cards. I couldn't help but jump myself.

"Come on, pick up them god damn cards!" ordered another prisoner.

Just as Sonic was about to look at the cards again, #62391 took them from him briefly.

"You look at all them cards, clown!? 'Cause if I have to tell you again, I'm a-come over there and break your fuckin' neck! Now did you see 'em all!?"

"N-no…" replied Sonic.

#62391 shook his head. "Man, what the fuck is up with this!?" he exclaimed. "Sit up straight! SIT UP STRAIGHT, MUTHAFUCKA! LOOK AT ME! WHY THE FUCK IS YOU LAUGHIN'!?"

"I-I-I wasn't laughin'…" said Sonic.

#62391 sighed in frustration and handed back the cards. "This is the last time…the last fuckin' time, man! Don't be gettin' on my fuckin' nerves, aight!? You look at a card and ya pass it down when you done with it!"

This time, Sonic followed the correct procedure and passed a card to Tails after he was done looking at it. Tails, in turn, passed it to Knuckles, who passed it to Amy and so on and so forth.

"Look at all them muthafuckas!" exclaimed another one of the prisoners.

"I show you them cards for one reason," said #62391, "To show you that we ain't no social workers, no counselors, no probation officers, no priests, no doctors, no ice cream men, no football players, no astronauts, no musicians, no software engineers, no motocross bikers, no Jedi Knights or no police! We are convicts! Every man you see right here in this program is doin' at least 25 years to life, so y'all ain't come in here and change nothin'! Now is that understood?"

"Yes," said the group.

"One more thing: When a man's up here speakin', y'all better keep your eyes on that man at all times! That means if that man catch you lookin' at that wall, or that floor, or that ceiling, or that door or somethin', he feel as though you be chumpin' him off! And when ya chump somebody off in prison, you gotta deal with the consequences…and we can get very physical up in this bitch! So we can get this started, right?"

No one responded.

"I asked ya a question!" #62391 walked over to Shadow and got in his face.

"I ask ya again, I'm a-come over here and break your fuckin' neck, aight?" said #62391, softly.

"You couldn't," said Shadow.

#62391 raised his voice. "Oh, really? You wanna bet, muthafucka!?"

Shadow had his arms crossed. "I am the Ultimate Life Form. I don't gamble!"

"Man, you got a real punk-ass mouth! I oughta beat you into the fuckin' floor right now!" #62391 held up a fist.

Shadow was unmoved. "You're boring me! Please continue with your speech. You did say we could get this started."

"Yeah, well we can do this all fuckin' day, man! If them muthafuckin' guards weren't around, I'd rip your punk-ass mouth right outta your face! Now, you ready to shut it!?"

"Fine…I'll shut up." I thought I saw Shadow mutter something else, but I couldn't read his lips too well.

"Now, we can get this started, right!?" asked #62391. "I want an answer from all y'all!"

"Yes" responded the visitors.

"Oh, and one more thing: You best remember what these muthafuckas tell you today, because the life you save just might be your own!" #62391 then took his seat at the bleachers.

If the look on Sonic's face and those of his cohorts was any indication, then I knew this was going to be a new experience for them.

* * *

 _PRISONER #01124_

AGE: 44

SENTENCE: LIFE

CHARGE: B&E, ASSAULT AND BATTERY

DATE OF BOOKING: 7/2/X0

Prisoner #01124, a white guy with short black hair, a mustache & a goatee, had the floor now.

"Let's get one thing straight from Jump Street," said #01124, "Ain't nobody here to entertain you clowns!" He approached Shadow. "You got a problem, man!? You come in here like you own this fuckin' place and…LOOK AT ME, MUTHAFUCKA!" Shadow, who had been rolling his eyes in disdain, returned his gaze to #01124. "Now, you wanna impress these bitches with how tough you are!?"

"Why should I?" retorted Shadow. "I don't care about any of them."

#01124 turned back to the rest of the group. "Now see, that's the problem with you punk-ass bitches! Look at yas! You got all the opportunities in the world right now! You got a bunch of people out there who love ya! But youse don't care about all that, because you're about rippin' 'em off! You sit here and you seriously believe you ain't never goin' to prison!? Well, look at me! I been in this stinkin' cesspool for 10 years, and I ain't never thought about goin' here! In the 10 years I been here, I've seen thousands of guys come through these walls, and I ain't seen a goddamn one who wanted to come here! But you people with your shitty games, you seem like youse just askin' to come here!"

Shadow's gaze was drifting again, so #01124 stepped over to him.

"Go on, keep tryin' me, jerkoff! Keep tryin' me, man!" #01124 gestured to one side. "GET UP, muthafucka, you think you're so tough! GET OUTTA HERE, MAN!"

"You're starting to annoy me," said Shadow.

"Yeah, well how do ya think I feel, punk muthafucka!?" said #01124. "Get outta here if youse gonna be a wiseass!"

"'Wiseass'? That's it! I've had enough from you!" Shadow got out of his chair and readied his fists.

"You wanna do this the hard way!? Then let's do it!" #01124 also prepared for a showdown. However, three guards stepped in before it went any further.

"All right, break it up! BREAK IT UP!" ordered one of the guards. He turned his focus to Shadow: "You, kid, come with me!" He led Shadow offstage. The other guards returned to their positions, watching the lifers carefully. The other lifers made a few comments, such as: "I should go over there and kick his fuckin' ass!" or "What a smart-ass muthafucka!"

Meanwhile, another lifer, a grayish-green wolf, got up and gave an order to the visitors: "Come on, move my line in nice and tight! Move the fuck over, man!" Rouge slid over to the seat once occupied by Shadow, and everyone to her left slid down one seat.

#01124 calmed down a bit and went back to center stage. "All right, I'm gonna tell you muthafuckas what it is in prison! At 6:30 AM, there's the wakeup. You only got about half an hour to clean your cell and yourself! At 7, the guards do the counts. If they got every man accounted for, they let you out for breakfast. Once you're done chowin', ya better have all your utensils on that tray! If that's good, then they send you off to work. We got a bunch of shops 'round this prison. You know how in the movies and the TV, they show those guys stampin' the license plates? Well, we got that here, too! But don't think of tryin' anything funny here 'cause those guards are watchin', checkin' to make sure ain't none of youse is makin' weapons or tryin' to escape! At 11:25, they do another count, and then they give youse half an hour for lunch."

Unlike Shadow, the rest of the kids had no problems paying attention to #01124's speech. It was harsh, but they seemed to get the importance of it.

"…When you're all done with lunch, ya go back to your cells for another count. Again, if there ain't nobody missin', then it's back to work. At 3:55 PM, the guards do another count, and if that's good, they let you into the yard for exercise. At 4:55, they got another count, and at 5, they give you half an hour to shower up and then another half an hour for supper. After that, another count at 5:55, and at 6, they let ya go for special shit such as religious services, counseling or shit. At 8, everyone goes back to their cells and they do another count. At 10, it's lights out, and not only will the guards do a count by then, but also a coupla times during the night, so don't think about pullin' any of that _Escape from Alcatraz_ shit! In fact, a lotta those prison movies are bullshit!"

At this point, Shadow returned. "Let this dummy sit down, man!" said another prisoner. Rouge & everyone moved over to let Shadow sit down.

"…but if there's anything that them movies got right, it's this: We got sexual desires! Now, I'm sure some of youse guys got girlfriends, right?"

Not all of the guys responded to this query, but a few did.

"And youse gals got boyfriends, right?" queried #01124. Again, not all of the ladies responded, but I could see that at least a few of them responded affirmatively.

"See? We're just like you!" said #01124. "We're humanoids! We're made of flesh & blood!" #01124 turned his attention to Knuckles. "You, wiseguy, take a wild guess: when we got sexual desires, who do you think we get? And don't say 'each other'!"

Knuckles put his hand on the side of his head. "Uhhh…"

"Well, who?"

"Uhhhhh…each other?" Knuckles shrugged.

"Wrong answer, McFly! We get young, dumb muthafuckas just like you! Like I said, I been in this stinkin' joint for 10 years, and I'm gonna die here…and if they gave me this sexy little bitch right here…" #01124 pointed to Rouge "…I'd skip over her ass and all these other broads just to get the one tender young kid like him!" He pointed to Silver. "It ain't just me, there's a buncha guys in this joint who'd do the same thing!"

Some of the other lifers responded with comments like, "Mmm-hmm, yeah!" and "God damn, that's hot stuff!"

Silver shrank back in his chair, terrified by that prospect.

"That's just how it is here," said #01124, "and if youse guys keep releasin' those shitty games with their fucked-up controls and everything, that's how it's gonna be for youse too! Let me tell ya somethin' else: One day, you be layin' in your cell, thinkin' a bunch of things like how's your mama or your papa or whoever, when four guys slide into your cell, wrap you dumb ass up in that blanket, knock you outta that bed and do bodily harm to your asshole by stickin' a dick in it! And I don't care how tough you are or how tough ya think you are, somebody's gonna do it to you eventually!

Now, I'm gonna give youse five options you can take, and ain't none of 'em worth a goddamn Eggmanland token! One: You go to one of the guards, and you say 'Hey guard, four guys just messed me up!' Then ya come back with the guard, you say…" He pointed to various prisoners. "…'that black guy, that hedgehog, that white guy, that black guy.' Now ya see these guys that messed around with you? They might be goin' in the hole for 30 or 60 days, but after that, they'll be back in population! But see, the warden & the administrative guys can't leave you in population, because those other guys or their associates will splatter your dumb ass on the floor! Down here at Driscoll, we got this place called 'PC', meaning 'Protective Custody', not 'Personal Computer' or some bullshit like that! Except we call it 'Punk City' down here, and it don't matter how long your stretch is, that's where you'll spend all that time! They lock you up for 23 outta 24 hours, and they give ya an hour for exercise.

Now two: Some of youse tough guys, when ya get ripped off, you're gonna wanna get even, get revenge. Now the best time to jack somebody is on the mass moves, with over 1,500 bad muthafuckas movin' like a herd of sheep to the yard, or the mess hall, or the shops or whatever. So you're packin' a shank, maybe a screwdriver, some glass, or a toothbrush or any of that shit and ya go in the yard, and ya see one of them guys who ripped you off! So you pull that little ace outta your sleeve and ya stick 'em…" #01124 mimed a stabbing motion, "and when ya stick somebody, ya kill 'em! Now, any of youse wiseguys know how much time you're gonna get for killin' that dude? Anybody?"

After a moment or so, Tails finally answered, "Is it a life sentence?"

"That's right, they're gonna give you life!" said #01124. "Not that they give a rat's ass about the dude you wasted, or about you, but that's just how it is! There ain't no such thing as gettin' even in prison, and that brings us to three: When you get fucked in the ass, maybe ya decide you ain't talkin', but it don't work that way here! Ya know them four guys that fucked you? Well, they got associates, and they're gonna come for your ass, and then they got associates too, and they're also comin' for your ass! And if ya get some food or a little gift from home, somebody's gonna swipe that shit from you, and they're gonna keep doin' shit to you!

Now this brings us to number four, and this one right here is what youse gonna take: In my 10 years, I've seen this millions of times! You walk around this joint or any other joint ya might go to, and you're gonna find the real quiet one! He ain't bothered nobody and ain't nobody bothered him! He's the king of his own fuckin' world! So you go over to this guy and you tell him: 'Hey man, I gotta problem; can you help me?', and if he says 'yeah' after ya give him the rundown, it ain't but 5 minutes later like he told all those 1,500 dudes not to bother ya! So you says to yourself: 'Hey, this guy ain't half-bad! I don't gotta worry about nothin' no more!' WRONG! That guy just told population that you are his bitch! And when you become some guy's bitch, here's what ya gotta do: You gotta get him his coffee in the mornin'! You gotta clean his cell! You gotta wash his clothes! If he wants ya to give him head, you're gonna give it to him! And if he wants to fuck you in the ass, you're gonna let him! But if you tough guys tell him, 'Nah man, I ain't gonna do that bullshit!', you just told him, 'Kill me, man!', and he's gonna do that!

Finally, number five, and this one happened just yesterday: You probably heard this one 'cause youse all read it in the papers, or maybe saw it on the TV or the internet or somethin'. Some young guy, he didn't mean to release a shitty game; he was just havin' a fun time, but he wanted to have even more fun. So he added a bunch of new features, but see, when he added all those features, his dumb ass forgot to check for bugs and shit! Then some little old lady bought this game for her grandson, and he was havin' fun until the game froze and made a loud noise, so this lady had a heart attack and died! Now this guy didn't just get booked for robbery; he got a murder rap as well! Know what else? The judge didn't give a fuck that he was just 14, or that it was an accident; he just got fed up with that guy's ass and gave him life right here in Driscoll!

It ain't even been a week before that dumb shit became somebody's bitch! He only went half a year before the stress of livin' in this sewer pit got to him! Then he took his sheet, tied one end to a pipe, tied the other to his punk-ass neck and he hung himself! Now he don't gotta do this life shit, he don't gotta put up with the guards or with these other muthafuckas! They just carted his ass off in a body bag and dumped him in the ground! And when they buried his ass and put that fuckin' grave over him, they didn't put his name, they put his number! 'Cause that's all youse people are in prison: A fuckin' number! Now, it's plain to see his life was lost 'cause he was cold and his body swung back and forth, but now his eyes sing that sad, sad song of how he lived so fast and died so young!

It ain't just him; look at me!" #01124 motioned to himself. "I started drinkin' with friends, havin' a good time and shit, but then it escalated! We started drivin' around, breakin' into people's houses and shit, and now look at me! You think I'm lucky? Well don't, 'cause it could happen to you! Like, if you started smokin' a joint here and there, pretty soon youse gonna be sellin' kilos of smack or somethin'! Or maybe youse sell a game with a few graphics glitches and next you're sellin' unplayable bugfests! But apparently, this is what youse clowns want! Hey, I don't give a fat fuck what youse do when you leave here today, but know this: When you get here, I show ya better than I can tell ya!"

#01124 returned to his spot on the bleachers. At this point, I wondered to myself: How much worse can this get? What else could the lifers do to scare the kids now that they've gotten a very clear picture of life in prison? We were about to find out…

* * *

 **Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.  
**


	3. Prisoner 09693

_PRISONER #09693_

AGE: 31

SENTENCE: 25 YEARS

CHARGE: ARMED ROBBERY

DATE OF BOOKING: 2/13/X4

Prisoner #09693, the wolf who'd ordered everybody to move over after Shadow left briefly, was next.

"All you muthafuckas sit up!" ordered #09693, "Sit the fuck up, man!" For a moment, he turned his attention to Knuckles: "And that goes for you, too! Sit up! And when I ask somethin', I want everybody give me an answer! You understand!?"

"Yes," answered the visitors.

"Like that first man said, I want your eyes on me at all times, and if your eyes are anywhere else, I'll chomp your muthafuckin' head off!" Next, #09693 turned his attention to Silver: "Sit the fuck back, boy! Man, I don't care if you ain't comfortable! I ain't been comfortable for five goddamn years, and I ain't ever gonna be comfortable in this muthafucka! You got a problem with me, kid!? 'Cause if you don't keep your ass sittin' up straight, I'm a-tear your pretty little face off and shove it up your ass! You understand me, boy!?"

"Yes…" replied Silver.

#09693 pointed at Silver. "See, 'cause I don't like nothin' in the first place and I don't like YOU, so you better shut your ass before I crush you like a muthafuckin' soda can!" He turned his attention to the ladies next. "And that go for you too! Don't think I got any sense of politeness or nothin'!"

At this point, I could see Amy trying her best not to cry, but she couldn't entirely contain her tears.

"Man, don't give me no goddamn tears!" said #09693. "The fuck you think I care!? Shee-it!" He turned his attention to the crowd as a whole. "That last guy told the muthafuckin' truth! All that stuff on the TV, the movies and the YouTube, that's a bunch of fantasy bullshit! Every god damn day, we gotta come up here on this stage and talk to a buncha damn kids like you, actin' like they don't know what the fuck's goin' on with their lives! Now, it's my muthafuckin' job to stand up here and try to GIVE somethin' back to your asses, so lemme give this to ya: When you come here and do time, YOU DO TIME! Day for day, week for week, month to month, YEAR TO MUTHAFUCKIN' YEAR! Only thing that changes here is the god damn calendar! If you lucky, maybe you get a cell where you see all the muthafuckin' cars out the window!

You gotta stop all that bullshit and try to be somebody! 'Cause every time one of your friends tells you, 'Hey, let's go pump up the difficulty so only a muthafuckin' robot can beat this game!', 'let's add a bitch-ass camera system!', 'let's forget about those game-breakin' glitches that people gonna have to download a muthafuckin' patch so they can beat the game!', all they sayin' is 'let's go to prison!' Then you become a muthafucka like me & my comrades, man! How the fuck can you do all that time in that small-ass cell? How can ya do it!? How can ya do it!? YOU CAN'T! See, I'm in this muthafucka and I'm fucked up! But you wanna keep doin' that shit you're doin'!"

#09693 turned his attention to Tails." Come here, you!"

Tails got out of his chair and walked over to #09693, slowly.

"Yeah, that's right!" #09693 motioned for Tails to come over. "Get your ass over here, girl!" For a brief moment, he turned back to the crowd. "See, that's the problem with you people! You muthafuckas is tellin' little-ass kids like him how to fuck their lives up instead of teachin' em how to do the right thing! 'Cause they ain't got no god damn business in this or any other prison! Now I'm gonna ask this girly-ass boy here…" He turned back to Tails and got in his face. "Now tell me, what the fuck you doin' in my house!? And if you tell me a muthafuckin' lie, I'm a-mush your god damn face in! Now why is you here!?"

"I-I guess I…messed up…" said Tails, shaking.

"YOU MESSED UP!" shouted #09693. "You gotta stop actin' out boy! You gotta stop all that stealin' shit! Last time you released a broke-ass game, how much money did ya get!?"

"T-t-twenty nine million dollars…I think…"

"TWENTY NINE MILLION DOLLARS!? Man, you sound like a real dumbass! Look at me!" #09693 pointed to his face. "You see this face!? Well, you remember this muthafuckin' face 'cause you never, NEVER wanna meet a muthafucka like me! You understand!?"

"Y-y-y-y-yes!"

"Now get your muthafuckin' ass back in your seat and listen real good!" Tails went back to his seat, trembling. Meanwhile, #09693 focused back on the crowd again.

"See, I was out on the muthafuckin' streets takin' people's stuff every day, man!" said #09693. "I sold drugs, stereos, Beanie Babies, anything I could do to get money! I didn't think about what was gonna happen to my ass just like you ain't thinkin' about your muthafuckin' asses! You gotta listen to us, man, 'cause if ya keep doin' the shit you doin', they gonna drag you muthafuckas to this muthafucka! Ain't nothin' I can do for any of ya and ain't muthafuckin' nothing my associates can do!"

#09693 turned his attention to Shadow next.

"What's wrong with you, boy!?" asked #09693. "Your god damn arm broke or somethin'!?"

"I'm perfectly fine," replied Shadow.

"You think you tough or somethin'!? What's your god damn problem, boy!?"

"I have no problems."

"Is that it!? You think you tough or somethin'!? Get the fuck outta that chair, boy!" Shadow got out of his chair and switched places with #09693.

"Listen boy, there's a lotta shit that go on in this muthafucka!" said #09693. "You wanna impress these bitches!? Then tell me what goes on in this prison!"

Shadow didn't respond. He just stood there, arms crossed.

"Come on, don't bore my ass to death, man!" exclaimed #09693. "Tell me!"

Shadow finally replied, in his usual deadpan tone: "Terror. Fear. Hatred." #09693 got out of Shadow's chair and walked over to him. He then turned back to the audience.

"Now see, this muthafucka got somethin' right! There's a whole lotta things here that you ain't never wanna see! This shit fucks you up, man! I sit in that cell at night, real god damn tears come out my muthafuckin' eyes! But see, this guy here, he's bein' a real funny boy! He don't want nobody learnin' nothin', and a lotta you muthafuckas wanna act like him! Sit your god damn ass down!"

Shadow got back to his seat.

"I mean, what's wrong with you people?" said #09693. "Why you sellin' bad games and shit to people, huh? You get a kick outta that!?"

No one answered.

"DO YOU GET A KICK OUTTA THAT SHIT!?"

This time, the kids answered "no".

"What you think this is a muthafuckin' joke or somethin'!? All of you, take your muthafuckin' shoes off and throw 'em over there! EVERYBODY, TAKE 'EM OFF NOW!"

While Sonic and some of his friends did that, a few others such as Espio didn't react.

"The hell is wrong with you, you think I'm playin'!?" shouted #09693 "Hurry up and take them god damn shoes off! Come on, throw 'em over in that muthafuckin' corner!" The visitors threw their shoes and boots over to their left, near the offstage area.

"That's right, I took your muthafuckin' shoes!" #09693 pointed to himself. "Now, how did you feel when I took that shit!?"

Sonic and his friends gave varying responses, all to the effect of "I didn't like that."

"Didn't like that, huh?" said #09693. "Well, now you know how your victims feel! But you don't care about that shit 'cause you're bein' selfish! Now that brings me to my next point: Who can tell me what snitchin' is?"

Silence.

"Come on, answer me!"

Finally, Sonic spoke up: "Ain't that like tellin' on someone?"

"Tellin' on someone for what!?"

Sonic scratched his head. "I dunno…I guess…uh…"

"See, here's the thing, man: Snitchin' is a term that criminals use to justify all the fucked up shit they doin'! Now let me give you all a nickel's worth of information here: Suppose you in school, and somebody left their locker open. You look at that locker and you see they got a gun in there. Now, if you go and tell a teacher, or the principal or a cop or somebody, that ain't snitchin'! See, 'cause you might have saved some muthafucka's life by doin' that! You did that for somebody else's good! But if you in prison and you tell the guards about somethin' another prisoner is doin' just so you can mess up their shit and get extra good time or privileges or shit…that's snitchin'! Your ass is just bein' selfish, just like when you sell bad muthafuckin' games to the public! You ain't thinkin' about the consequences! You ain't thinkin' about those honest, hard-workin' people tryin' to feed and clothe their muthafuckin' families! You're just bein' selfish, and you gotta stop that muthafuckin' shit, man!

If you believe in anything man, believe what the fuck I'm tellin' you today! Believe what my muthafuckin' comrades is tellin' you! Get out there and make somethin' good outta yourselves! 'Cause you ain't just some fucked up kids makin' fucked up choices! You got potential, and we wanna see you out there usin' that potential instead of bein' here with muthafuckas like me!"

#09693, having finished his set, returned to the bleachers. I suppose I was right: The kids seemed more fearful now, and yet, I could feel a curious sense of interest among them…

* * *

 **Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.  
**


	4. Prisoner 01119

_PRISONER #01119_

AGE: 29

SENTENCE: 30 YEARS

CHARGE: SECOND-DEGREE MURDER

DATE OF BOOKING: 11/25/X5

* * *

Prisoner #01119 had his turn now. He was a black man with short hair and a mustache.

"Aw, this shit corny as hell, bro!" exclaimed #01119. "Come into somebody's prison! At the age of 19, I came in this fuckin' prison! The first speaker came at the age of 16! We got another speaker come in at the age of 12! Another guy here, he was born in this prison, and he gonna die in this muthafucka, man! Now y'all come in here tryin' to knock the doors down and get in here with those shitty games, man! Y'all crazy, man! Y'all crazy! Y'all lose your lives in this muthafucka!"

Next, he turned his attention to Silver: "White boys! Man, how the fuck are y'all gonna survive in the prison, white boys!? Fuckin' 85% of the population, look like…ah, I dunno about some of these hedgehog-ass muthafuckas, but a lot of people in this prison look like me! You'll get crushed, man! As a matter of fact…get outta that seat, boy!"

"What?" said Silver.

"You heard me!" yelled #01119, "Get the fuck outta that seat!"

Silver did as he was told and got out of his chair.

"Think you so tough, white boy!?" said #01119. "Come in here and you got attitude! You got a stick up your ass or somethin'!? Come on, take a swing at me!"

Silver gasped. "What?"

"You heard me! You got your best shot! Now come on, hit me!"

"No, I won't!"

#01119 motioned towards himself. "Come on, do it!"

"No…it's not right!"

The other lifers also joined in on pressuring Silver, with taunts like: "Yeah, do it!", "chicken-shit muthafucka!" and "ride or die!"

"Man, fuck…take a goddamn swing at me, muthafucka!"

Silver squirmed a little. "No, I'm not going to do it!"

"Come on, you need protection!" said #01119. "Grab my pocket, you bitch!"

Silver did as he was told and grabbed #01119's inside-out pocket.

"Bring your ass! BRING YOUR ASS!" #01119 dragged him front and center.

#01119 then turned to the rest of the kids and pointed to Silver: "Now see, this what happens when y'all don't stand up for your muthafuckin' selves! You gotta be ready to kill some muthafucka in this muthafuckin' prison! See, this bitch right here had an opportunity to be a tough guy, and he failed! Now his manhood is took and he's a Maytag, he spend the next few years as a undercover fag, see!?"

The lifers piped up again: "Yeah, boy!", "That's right!"

Then, #01119 asked Silver, "What's your name, bitch!?

"It's Silver."

"Silver!? Ain't no Silver! As a matter of fact, your name is, uh…Brenda! Say it! SAY IT!"

"No, it's Silver."

#01119 threw his hands up in frustration. "MAN, DON'T YOU KNOW I WILL RAPE YOU!?"

"My name's…Brenda," Silver's eyes were looking down at the floor.

"Yeah, that's right!" said #01119 "Look me in the eyes & tell me your muthafuckin' name!"

"Brenda."

"Yeah, you happy to be Brenda! Take your eyes off me again and I swear I'll murder your faggot ass right up here on this stage!" Then, #01119 turned to his fellow prisoners, "Yo, anybody got any cigarettes?"

All the lifers pulled out packs of cigarettes and waved them around. A dark brown cat had the most, so he effectively "bought" Silver.

"Go over there with him!" ordered #01119. Silver sat down on the bleachers next to the guy that "bought" him. #01119 turned to the visitors and continued: "See that!? He belongs to him now! That happens all the time to young, tender muthafuckas like him! Ain't nothin' here in this prison except aggravation, humiliation, degradation, alienation, and yet you wanna end up like this young, tender muthafucka here! Now I show you what else happens to muthafuckas like him!" He turned his attention to Silver again and pulled something out of his pocket. "Here, I want you to hold this for me! Here, hold this!"

"What's this?" Silver picked the object up and inspected it. It appeared to be a packet of something.

"It's Kool-Aid!" replied #01119. "We put this on bitches like you! Open that muthafucka up!"

Silver opened the packet.

"Lick your lips!"

Again, Silver did as he was told.

"Now stick your finger in that Kool-Aid! Stick it in there! Now take your finger and just do this to the bottom one!"

Silver wiped his finger on his bottom lip and got Kool-Aid on it.

"Come here!" #01119 pretended to kiss Silver. "I kiss you, you orange-flavor muthafucka!"

Meanwhile, Sonic had his hand over his mouth, trying to contain his laughter.

Suddenly, one of the lifers spoke up: "Hey man, look at this! Look at this! Oh, you think this is funny!?" This prompted a brief uproar from the lifers. #01119 went over to Sonic.

"What, y'all think we're fuckin' playin' around, man!?" yelled #01119. Sonic stopped laughing and sat up, terrified. "Apologize, muthafucka, for disruptin' the session!"

"S-sorry for disruptin' ya," said Sonic.

"Who you sorry to!? You sorry to them, or you sorry to me!?"

"Sorry to everybody, I guess…"

"You sorry to every muthafucka! Now sit your punk ass up in that seat and shut your fuckin' ass 'cause I know y'all don't like me spittin' in your god damn face, but there ain't a muthafuckin' thing you can do about it! Now stop laughin'! Ain't nothin' funny about this shit! Punk muthafucka!" #01119 returned to center stage and continued his bit:

"So like I said, we prostitute young, tender muthafuckas like that white boy up in here!" He pointed to Silver. "And like that other man said, when you come in here, you come in here for a long muthafuckin' time! So before you keep messin' up and sellin' shitty-ass games out there, listen to our names and the time that we doin'!" #01119 turned to his fellow lifers: "Come on, gimme some names and some times!"

"#09693, 25 years."

"#01124, life."

"#11146, 27 years."

"#61901, 25 years."

"#91893, double life."

#01119 turned back to the kids:

"#01119, 30 muthafuckin' years! But don't let that fool ya! I probably get my fuckin' ass stabbed to death before I hit the streets, man!" Then, #01119 turned his attention to Shadow: "Come here, kid! Get your ass up here!"

Shadow got up and walked over to #01119.

"You think your ass is gonna go without a muthafuckin' sermon, you gotta be kiddin' me!" said #01119. "Just because you read all them history books and shit don't make me your brother's keeper! 'Cause you'll be swishin' around that muthafuckin' yard hustlin' for your man just like that white boy done! And that goes for all you other muthafuckas too! Now sit your ass back down in that chair!"

Shadow did so. Again, I thought I saw him mutter something else, but like I said earlier, I hardly qualify as an expert lip reader.

Anyways, #01119 turned his attention to Silver: "You too! Get back in your muthafuckin' seat and think about what I show you today!" Silver did so, while #01119 continued: "Now, I'm gonna finish up on this note: Make this your shortest stay in somebody's muthafuckin' institution! The way your game series is goin', you got one foot on a banana peel! The other is slidin' towards a prison, or maybe a fuckin' graveyard! Real life ain't no game! Ain't no muthafuckin' reset button when you fuck up out there on the streets! Ain't no extra men when you get 100 coins or some shit! Remember this: You only got one life to live, so don't get it fucked up, man!"

#01119 sat down at the bleachers and let the next lifer do his speech. I could see Silver trembling with fear in his seat. At that moment, I got an unusual idea: What if there was another universe where Silver had been convicted of a crime and tried to break out of prison?

Nah, I shouldn't bother with such thoughts…

* * *

 **Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.  
**


	5. Prisoner 02294

**A/N: Sorry for the late update; I've been stressed out this weekend. I'll be back on track soon, though.**

* * *

 _PRISONER #02294_

AGE: 53

SENTENCE: DOUBLE LIFE

CHARGE: MURDER, MULTIPLE

DATE OF BOOKING: 3/25/X4

Prisoner #02294 was a real mountain of a man, a white guy with greasy black hair and a 5 o'clock shadow. In the popular parlance, he was an example of the kind of prisoner that one would call "Bubba".

"All right, two of you guys I don't like!" said #02294. "I don't like you…" He pointed to Shadow, "…and I don't like you!" he pointed to Sonic. Continuing with his spiel, #02294 said: "Now, I'm only gonna say this one time…" He turned to Shadow, who had been rolling his eyes again, "…ONE MUTHAFUCKIN' TIME! ALL…EYES…ON THE SPEAKER!" Now that Shadow's gaze was re-focused, #02294 turned his attention back to the rest of the group and continued his speech:

"They call me Nasty Nick, kids. Nasty Nick…The Nightmare Man! In every prison, they got that one guy…the guy who's always steppin' to ya! Waitin' on ya! Well…guess what? I'm that one guy. I'm gonna use you! I'm gonna fuckin' abuse you! Think you're tough? Just look at all these guys here!" #02294 pointed to random lifers. "He's big, he's big, and he's big, too! But I'm the biggest of them all! Every fuckin' day, I'm out in the yard, I bench press 700 pounds. 700 MUTHAFUCKIN' POUNDS AND GOIN'! I got a black belt in kung fu, too!" Suddenly, #02294 turned his attention to Silver and approached him. "What, am I here to amuse ya, pretty boy? Heh!? You smilin'!?"

"No…I-I-I wasn't smiling…" said Silver.

"Somethin's funny!?" asked #02294. "Somethin's funny to ya!?"

"N-no…not r-really…"

"Wipe that muthafuckin' smile off your face, kid, or I'll take one of your pretty yellow eyes outta your face and squash it in my hands while you watch!" #02294 made a crushing motion with his hand in front of Silver's face. "You think I would?"

"Yes…"

"You're damn right I would!" #02294 turned to the rest of the crowd: "…and I'd crush all your muthafuckin' skulls together with my bare hands! One day, after you're done pumpin' iron out there in the yard, you're gonna strip down in your cell, and you're gonna put that towel on, and you're gonna go to the shower room, where they got five showerheads on the wall! Five muthafuckin' showerheads, and they shower 50 guys…"

During the speech, I noticed that Rouge – contrary to many of her fellow visitors – seemed quite enthralled with #02294. However, this only earned her the ire of the big man, who walked over to her.

"What's up with this!?" shouted #02294. "Why are ya lookin' at me like I'm a woman!? I'M A MAN! I stand at the urinal and piss with 50 other guys! 50 big, greasy, dirty muthafuckas just come from the yard! Ya wouldn't last one second with us, bitch! Now sit the fuck up and stop bein' funny, or I'll rip your fuckin' wings right outta their sockets!"

Rouge snapped out of her little trance and gasped. #02294 continued:

"Look at me! See, I'm a survivor! We're all survivors, 'cause we fuckin' killed people to get ahead…and here you come, rippin' people off by sellin' em broke-fuck games! Ya gotta be ready to kill somebody here! We took your shoes! How do you bitches feel about that!?"

Naturally, the kids answered with stuff such as "I don't like it."

"Well you think about that next time you're breakin' the muthafuckin' law!" shouted #02294. "See me? Remember that little old lady you tormented with that muthafuckin' glitchfest!? THAT WAS MY MOTHER! Know what else? I got twelve uncles! Ya know how big that makes my family!? Big, right? Well, go ahead! Rip my family off! Let me read in the muthafuckin' papers that one of my family members was ripped off by one of you muthafuckas and your bitch-ass games! I dare ya! I FUCKIN' DARE YA! 'Cause guess what? I'll be squattin' on ya, right here in this muthafuckin' prison!" He turned around and started to go back to the bleachers, but then he paused and shot back at the kids with a menacing look over his shoulder.

"We will eat you alive!" said #02294.

"That's right!" "Tell 'em, Nick!" said the other lifers. With that, "Nasty Nick" gave the floor to the next prisoner.

Judging by the looks on their faces, I could tell that Sonic and his friends feared #02294 the most out of all the prisoners. Again, though, Shadow and Espio didn't seem to be that fearful. Of course, things aren't always as they seem, especially in prison.

* * *

 **Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.**


	6. Prisoner 61901

**A/N: Sorry AGAIN for the late update; I was on vacation. I promise the next one will be on time, however.**

* * *

 _PRISONER #61901_

AGE: 27

SENTENCE: 25 YEARS

CHARGE: AUTO THEFT

DATE OF BOOKING: 1/10/X3

* * *

Prisoner #61901, a spiny lizard, got up and took his turn. He came up there carrying a newspaper.

"Come here," said #61901 to Knuckles, who walked over. #61901 seemed to have a more tranquil demeanor than the other lifers, but I could still hear the fire in his voice.

"Read the heading," said #61901.

"This one?" Knuckles pointed to the newspaper.

"Si. Read the heading up there!"

" _Inmate Stabbed to Death in Driscoll_ "

"OK, read from 'He was stabbed'!"

"He was stabbed 27 times in the neck, chest, head, groin and back. Chung, who was pronounced DOA at Rosen Memorial Hospital, was serving 1-2 years…"

"OK, good. Sit down!" Knuckles sat back down, while #61901 turned to the rest of the group.

"See, those other dudes, they weren't lyin' when they told you about muthafuckas dyin' here, were they?" asked #61901. "Were they!?"

Sonic and his group responded "no."

"Now, we ain't here to bullshit you pendejos, right?"

"No."

"Then why are you here? Them people that brought ya here, as well as we, know you're about to come into this fuckin' prison, man! They care about you, right? They don't want ya comin' here, and neither do we! Now, suppose your parents got a dog or a cat or some other pet, and that little guy keeps pissin' on the floor and they can't train it. What do they do with it?"

"They get rid of it," replied Sonic and friends.

"They get rid of it!" said #61901. "Well, don't ya know that every time ya go to court for some glitches, a whacked-out camera, an awkward plot or whatever reason your games suck, you're like a dog pissin' on a good people's carpet? Sooner or later, el juez is gonna get tired of seein' your culo in that courthouse! And when he gets tired, what do ya think he's gonna do?"

"Send you away," replied Sonic and co.

"Right, he's gonna send you away for life!" replied #61901. "But none of you ain't thinkin' about that, eh? We know what you're thinkin': 'I ain't stealin' nothin' to go to prison!' Well, ya don't have to! Ya know what else? Ya don't have to be doin' 25 to life to die in here! That guy you read in the paper, he was only doin' 1-2 years! Ya wanna know what he was in for!? Throwing pickle juice on a trolley! But you don't think about that, do ya!? Any of you muthafuckas here ready to kill?"

Almost everybody in Sonic's group seemed to respond "no".

"But you're ready to do that shit you're doin' out there, ain't ya!?" said #61901. "Well then you gotta be ready to kill someone here if ya gotta! When you wake up in the morning, do any of ya think, 'I might have to kill somebody today'?"

Again, Sonic's group responded "no".

"Well, when I wake up in the morning, I think 'I might have to kill somebody today'! Do any of ya wake up in the morning and think, 'Maybe some cabrón is gonna kill me today!?"

Another round of "nos" from the group.

"Well, I think about that, too! Ya think that's paranoia? Heh!? For you, it may be paranoia; for me, it's reality! This is prison! Wake up, man! Now, when you look at us, what do ya see? What do ya see when you look at us!?"

Some of Sonic's friends replied with: "convicts."

"Convicts," said #61901. "You know what we see when we look at ya? We see ourselves! We were niños just like you once! When you look at us, ya better think about that, 'cause this could be your future! A lot of folks here don't remember what it's like to hear a dog barking, or a bird chirping, or a kitty cat meowing! But these guys, if you ask them what it's like to hear some guy gettin' stabbed to death, they can tell ya about that! If you ask them what it's like to hear some maricón screamin' because four other dudes are fuckin' his ass, they'll tell ya about that, too! You don't wanna end up here. Don't keep messin' up, please."

#61901 headed back for the bleachers, his spiel concluded.

* * *

 **Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.**


	7. Prisoner 91893

_PRISONER #91893_

AGE: 26

SENTENCE: DOUBLE LIFE

CHARGE: RAPE, ARSON

DATE OF BOOKING: 7/24/X7

* * *

#91893 was an orange-red hedgehog who had somewhat disheveled quills and a few scars on him. It also appeared as if something was wrong with his right eye.

"That shit ain't funny, right!? Shit is real in here, man!" He was more "in your face" and charged up than the other prisoners. Heck, he even got in my face a few times.

#91893 pointed to his eye. "Yeah, look, they took my muthafuckin' eye out! Do y'all wanna go to prison with me!? Do y'all wanna be in here with a crazy muthafucka like me?!"

Sonic and his friends said "no".

"Well, then stop sellin' people fucked-up video games, muthafuckas!" shouted #91893. "This ain't no Six Flags Great Adventure! We don't get no tickets to come into this muthafucka! Fact, ya get too many muthafuckin' tickets out there, you come to this muthafucka, and then I get all craaaaaazy on ya! I'm in here for muthafuckin' EVERYTHING, man! They call me 'Everything Charlie'! I'm in this muthafucka for rape! Multiple rape! M-multiple arson! I BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNN!"

#91893 eased up on the craziness a little, but still got in our faces. "But fuck what's happenin' to me! It's what happenin' to juveniles that we concerned about!" He held up a newspaper. "Look at this! This is bad! Girls beaten and raped, even in juvie! Don't you girls wanna be like them!?"

The ladies said "no".

"Yeah see, you don't wanna be with no crazy-ass bitches, man!" said #91893, who went up to Blaze and pretended to kiss her. "I kiss you! Ooh!" He did the same with Amy, Rouge, and any other ladies in attendance. They, like the others, leaned back in their seats, trying to stay away from him. After calming down a little, #91893 focused on the rest of the group and held the newspaper back up.

"Look at this!" exclaimed #91893 "They talk about gettin' tough on juveniles! They say if you commit a crime like an adult, they gonna send you to an adult prison! Now, I'm gonna tell y'all somethin' called 'Rules to tha Muthafuckin' Game': Do you know that you get seven years for breakin' into somebody's muthafuckin' house…five years for loiterin' in a muthafuckin' drug zone…nine years for havin' a fucked up control…fifteen years for not fixin' the muthafuckin' glitches…twenty years for stealin' a muthafucka's French fries…or ten years for singin' off-key!? Huh!? Do you know that your ass will go to death row or get 25 to life just for bein' a muthafucka with a muthafucka that commit a muthafuckin' murder!? Do ya know that!? No, 'cause y'all don't care, man! Y'all wanna be in the cell next to me…or even with me!" #91893 went over to Silver and knelt down in front of him. "I suck dick in this muthafucka! Every day!"

After getting up, #91893 focused back on the rest of the visitors: "That last speaker told the muthafuckin' truth, man! We was juveniles once just like you! Except we didn't get away with nothin'; we here! Look at me! They stabbed me all up in the muthafuckin' front & back, split my muthafuckin' head right open & everything! How tough could I have been!? And you got that fucked up attitude ya wanna be like me!" He turned his attention to Sonic, Tails & Knuckles for a brief moment and said: "I tie all your muthafuckin' shoes together and make you walk down the aisle!"

#91893 then turned back to the rest of the kids: "You ever see a muthafuckin' toy robot? Look at us; that's what we are! Except they don't plug us into no electricity! They don't use no muthafuckin' batteries! They make us move by bells! I hear so many muthafuckin' bells that even when they don't ring, I still hear 'em ring! That's craaaaaaazy!" #91893 walked over to Shadow, fist clenched. "Yeah, that's how that shit goes, man! If I bust you right in the muthafuckin' jaw, you think the po-lice give a fuck!?"

"Probably," replied Shadow.

"Probably!?" said #91893. "Why!?"

"Well, I'm the Ultimate Life Form, so somebody cares about me."

"Man, fuck no! I got so much muthafuckin' time they can't give me no more!" Then #91893 walked over to the pile of shoes in the corner. "Show me your shoes, muthafucka! Which ones are yours?"

"The white, red and black hover shoes" replied Shadow.

"This one right here?" #91983 held up the same shoe that Shadow described.

"Yes."

"This is how I think about y'all!" #91893 threw Shadow's shoes on the ground. "I fuck you in the fuckin' ass! Go home barefoot, muthafucka!"

Shadow had an angry look on his face. Nevertheless, he remained reticent.

Meanwhile, #91893 walked back over to Sonic's friends and returned to his usual in-your-face routine.

"Everybody in prison got a number," said #91893, "so you muthafuckas is goin' to have numbers, too!" He walked over to Blaze, who was seated all the way on the left, towards the door they came through. "Until you leave here, your number is 1," Next, he walked to Silver, and repeated the process, "…you 2, you 3, you 4, you 5…what's your number?"

"5", replied Espio.

Rather than continuing forward, #91893 walked back to the person sitting to Espio's left, a brown hedgehog whose name I didn't get.

"What's your number?" asked #91893.

"4" replied the brown hedgehog.

"What's your number?"

"3" replied a red-and-blue hedgehog.

"What's your number?"

I thought Silver replied "2", but I couldn't hear him. #91893 yelled "WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER!?"

"2." Silver spoke up louder this time.

"What's your number?"

"1" replied Blaze.

"All right, now kick it all the way down!" said #91893. "What's your number? Kick it out!"

"1" said Blaze.

#91893 walked down the line and repeated the process.

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

"6"

"7"

"8"

"9"

"10"

"Shadow the Hedgehog"

#91893 shook his fist at Shadow. "Man, I will turn your muthafuckin' teeth upside down! I've been locked up a real long time, so don't fuck with me! Kick out your number, man!"

Shadow sighed in contempt. "11"

The rest of this process continued smoothly. However, #91893 also went up to me, expecting me to have a number. Not wanting any trouble, I said "18". He turned his attention to the whole group and continued:

"And I want you to have that same muthafuckin' number when you come in this prison 'cause I'll be squattin' on ya! I'm craaaaazy like that! Them people that brought you here today, ya think they make the kind of money that they make if they sell people those shitty muthafuckin' games y'all been shellin' out!? Listen to me! Y'all can make the same kind of money so easy it's craaaaaaaaaaazy! Go to school! Learn history! Find out what the other guys got right and how y'all can improve your muthafuckin' selves! See, 'cause a broken camera ain't gonna tear down that 30-foot wall! A jacked-up difficulty ain't gonna tear down that 30-foot wall! But an education just might tear that muthafucka down!" #91893 returned to the bleachers.

Remember when I said that Sonic and his friends feared #02294 the most out of all the prisoners? Well, I'm not so sure about that now because they seemed to fear #91893 just about the same. Still, in the words of #09693, we would never want to meet anyone like them.

* * *

 **Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.**


	8. Prisoner 11146 & Outro

**A/N: Wow...eight weeks on and not a single review? I'm sad. Personally, I thought this story would generate more controversy than it did. I mean, I didn't post this story just for the sake of generating controversy; I did it as more of a "what if?" sort of thing. Nevertheless, I am going to have another "Hedgehogs in Prison" story next year, so stay tuned...same Truck-time, same Truck-channel!**

* * *

 _PRISONER #11146_

AGE: 34

SENTENCE: 27 YEARS

CHARGE: JAYWALKING

DATE OF BOOKING: 6/23/X1

* * *

Prisoner #11146 was the last prisoner to speak today. He was a blue rabbit with a yellow stripe on his head.

"Listen, kids," said #11146, "we don't get paid for doin' this. We don't get no parole, no good time, no nothin'." He seemed to be the calmest of all the prisoners, but there was still a little something burning inside of him. "We do this because we wanna. A bunch of those guys in the yard, they even laugh at us for doin' this! But you know what!? We still wanna do it, because we wanna help kids like you stay on the outside! We really do! All y'all kids is too young to come to prison! I been here 18 years, and I regret every fuckin' day I been here! Man, when that TV come on and, uh…McDonald's or somebody come on with a…a Happy Meal or somethin'…man, fuck that Happy Meal shit! I ain't been happy since I got here! Listen to me! Y'all got the best opportunity in the world 'cause ya got to talk to some muthafuckin' convicts! Don't give no excuses, man, 'cause I done run out of those!

Stop wantin' to sell bad games, 'cause there ain't no future in sellin' bad games! Stop wantin' to gangbang! All the gangbangas are dead, in jail or got AIDS! Look at me! They call me a criminal; I can't shake that title! I try to tell 'em I don't do crime no more; I can't shake it! You gotta be a fuckin' fool to go down the same path we went down! Sometimes, there'll be eight of them guards, and they say 'calm down!', and I say 'I wanna fight!' And they pull out a TASER, and I still wanna fight! And then I get shot with a TASER, then I get kicked with a boot, then somebody elbow me in the back of the head…and then I get up and I still wanna fight! And then I step on a Lego…and then I start cryin'."

#11146 returned to the bleachers with his fellow lifers.

With today's session concluded, Sonic and his friends got their shoes, said "thank you" to everybody and were led back outside.

* * *

Outside, I decided to get everybody's thoughts on their experience. Rather than asking them directly, however, I decided to walk with them and listen to what they had to say.

"Man…that was heavy," said Sonic, hand on his forehead. "I've been locked up before, but it wasn't as bad as that! If I could go to prison 'cause people don't like my video games, then I seriously gotta do some thinkin'!"

Tails held on tight to Sonic's arm. "Sonic…I don't want to go away! I promise I'll never do anything bad again!"

"It's OK, buddy!" said Sonic, "We ain't gonna go away as long…"

Then, Amy grabbed Sonic's other arm tightly. "Ohmigosh, Sonic, don't let me go away please! It's so horrible!1! I don't want to die in prison!"

"Easy, easy!" Sonic wrapped his arms around Tails and Amy. "It's all over now! As long as we listen to our fans and don't rush things, we're solid! I mean, it's like those guys back there said, we got potential, baby! I'll always believe in you guys, and I know you'll believe in me! I promise I ain't goin' anywhere!"

"Thanks, Sonic!" said Tails. "You're the best!"

"Totally!" said Amy. "You're cute!"

While Sonic, Tails and Amy were embracing each other, Knuckles had something to add:

"Man…I always thought I was a tough guy, but after having those prisoners yell and scream at me, I'm not so sure anymore. If our video games really have gone downhill, then maybe I should go talk to the fans a bit more often and get to know them better!"

"Ah, I could take on a lotta those guys!" exclaimed Vector. "Except maybe that big dude, uh…Nick, was it? But hey, I'm no criminal, so if they want me to improve, then I'm with the rest of ya!"

"I'm inclined to agree with you, Master," said Espio. "Although I wasn't intimidated by any of those prisoners or the vulgar acts they described, the ninja's code does state that one must never display weakness. Therefore, I will also try to improve myself."

"I don't want Froggy to go to prison," said Big.

"You know…" said Silver, "I-I've seen a lot of bad things in the future…but…I've never seen anything as horrible as what those prisoners told us about! Now I'm wondering…if bad things like that really do happen…i-is the past really worth saving?"

"Silver, you are acting naïve again," replied Blaze.

Silver paused for a moment. "On second thought…maybe this is just one small portion of the past. As long as there are still good people in the world, then maybe it's still worth saving! I'll take the prisoners' advice and use it to improve myself and others! Blaze…I promise you, no matter what happens, I will never let any of those bad things happen to you!"

"Silver, that is awfully sweet of you! I'm grateful that I got to know you!" Blaze gave Silver a kiss.

Shadow finally spoke up after remaining silent for so long:

"Oh, come on! Can you mortals get any more pathetic than this!? Do you seriously believe that this program actually works!? Don't you see the irony of sending people to visit a bunch of pitiful vermin in prison in order to teach them not to go to prison!? Furthermore, have any of you fools ever read any studies on the effectiveness of these programs!? I bet this program doesn't work as well as they say it does!"

"Say what ya will, Shadow, but I thought those guys were some real scary dudes!" said Sonic.

"That's because you're an ignorant faker!" retorted Shadow. "You and all your other friends are mere pawns who would fall for any sort of vote-getting 'tough on crime' policies!" He turned to Rouge next. "Well, how about it, Rouge?"

Rouge's eyes were wide open. "I gotta say, I've never been more frightened in my life!"

Shadow facepalmed. "Not you too!"

Rouge smiled, dropping her fearful look. "Actually…I'm not giving up on stealing gems no matter what they tell me!"

"Well, go ahead," said Knuckles, "but is stealing the Master Emerald really worth going through all that horrible stuff that they told us about?"

"HA! Don't be too sure, Knuckie! I once got caught with 24 kilos of gems! I'm out on bail and out of jail, and that's the way it goes, baby!"

"OK, FINE!" I heard Knuckles grumbling in frustration.

"It might not have worked for you two," said Sonic, "but if this group is any sorta proof, then I'd say this program works pretty well! Say…where was Robuttnik during this whole jam?"

"And why wasn't Mephiles here?" asked Shadow.

"Who?" I asked.

"Let me lay it on ya this way…" Sonic told me about Dr. Ivo Robotnik, better known as "Dr. Eggman", a mad scientist who was responsible for – among other things – attempting to turn an entire nation's population into robots, constructing a space station to try to destroy the world and stealing the aforementioned Master Emerald. According to Knuckles, the Master Emerald was a large gem of immense power, and he had been assigned to guard it.

As for Shadow, he told me about Mephiles the Dark, the intelligent mind of Solaris the Sun God, once worshipped by the people of the city-state of Soleanna. In short, Mephiles was released from a device known only as the Scepter of Darkness, and upon release, conspired to fuse with Iblis, the raw strength of Solaris. Most surprisingly, I learned that he killed Sonic.

"…And now you know, pathetic human," said Shadow.

"All right," said Sonic, "who wants chili dogs?"

Only Tails replied affirmatively.

"OK…who wants pizza?" asked Sonic. This time, everybody but Shadow replied affirmatively.

"All right, let's boogie!" So, Sonic and his group went to a local restaurant to chow down. I would've joined them, but I had some work to attend to. Plus, I didn't want any emotional attachments to influence me when writing this article. Granted, Sonic and his cohorts were very interesting people, but still…

In the meantime, as Sonic and his friends contemplated the lessons that they'd been taught, and while people across the country were debating the effectiveness of "Scared Straight" programs, the lifers of the JOINT Program returned to their cells to serve out the rest of their sentences at the Joseph K. Driscoll Correctional Facility. Here, they would weather continued exposure to the very horrors that they described to Sonic and his friends, as would the other prisoners. However, even as the lifers spent their days lamenting their incarceration, they could sleep just a little more soundly at night knowing that they might have saved the lives of some beautiful young people with potential to succeed.

* * *

 **Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.**


	9. Sonic Says

At Sonilu Studios, Sonic was sitting in his chair on set. Then, he got up.

"This is Sonic the Hedgehog with a special message for you cats. Like those prisoners said, ya never, ever wanna go to prison! But the sad truth is, there are many folks out there who are in a prison of a different kind. It ain't a building, either! People are goin' through life dealin' with some heavy problems like depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and other stuff that just wasn't their fault! If you're one of those people, I just wanna say to ya that I feel your pain! Trust me, I've gone through a lot in life, and so have some of my closest friends! Know this: No matter what, if you're feelin' bummed out and ya don't know what to do, just pick up your phone and make a call!" Sonic pulled out a cell phone. "There's always somebody ya can chat with! Whether it's a friend, a family member, a help line or whatever, there's always somebody who cares! Whoever you are, you're the smartest, funniest, kindest, most beautiful person I've ever met, and I know at least one person thinks you are, too! Don't ever forget that!"

Suddenly, Prisoner #91893 came out of nowhere and snatched the phone from Sonic, who dropped his jaw.

#91893 yelled at the phone: "HEY MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!" After giving it a funny look, he told Sonic: "Hang up on that bitch!" and then threw the phone on the ground.

* * *

 **Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.**


End file.
